Story submitted by a fellow Ninja with minor edits:
It was on a Sunday after noon and my mom and my sister had gone to [Unnamed Department Store] and were shoppin around and my mom had felt a fart coming on and so she proceeded into one of the aisles and let it rip. Well she left the aisle after that and then these two lady’s walked in as my mom turned the corner,as they entered the aisle they put there shirts over there noses and yelled out (O! some one had to go bad!!) and she was in the next aisle laughing and then my sister cam over and smelled it ( mom i cant leave you alone for a second lol) and then as they were leaving out the door my mom farted once more and literally crapped herself lol. my sister didn’t let her hear the end of it for weeks.
Submitted by a fellow Ninja:
My buddy Dave and I were driving to his house from the mall several years back. He was riding shotgun and ripped a nasty fart. I cussed him out and rolled down my window. Now this guy has always been able so squeez one out on command, so he ripps another just to piss me off. He keeps doing this and is cracking up the whole time because i’m getting furious. I mean after a few minutes the whole car smelled like ass. His laughter was making him fart more for some reason and he just wouldn’t stop for like 10 minutes. Finally he settles down and says he feels sick and puts a hand down his pants to inspect his stink hole. Well we get to his house and he just jumps out of the car and runs in the house. I wait outside for a while and then go in to see whats going on. I walked into his room and his pants with boxers inside were on the floor and there was a huge wet circle on the back. I ran out to my car and there was a damp circle in my passenger seat and it smelled like butt water. This bastard was trying so hard to fart that he started squirting water out of his ass. And yeah I made that shit head clean my car seat after he shamefully came out of the bathroom.
(Shared by a fellow Ninja)
I get to my seat, and I share the section w/ an elderly couple that were probably in their mid to late 70’s.
I smiled, said hello, and sat right beside the lady.
About half way through the flight, I started smelling a VERY foul odor.
I stealthfully use my ninja skills to make sure it wasn’t me, and looked around @ people to see who would look guilty of cracking one loose.
But realized shortly after, that it came from the seat beside me.
I thought to myself…….
“I bet she just shit herself and hasn’t realized it yet.”
Sure enough, about a half hour later…..
They decide they both need to go to the bathroom.
I kindly stood up and let them pass, and got back in the seat.
The old man says, “Sorry, but I need to get something out of the overhead compartment.”
So I scoot over to the seat where the lady was sitting to give them a bit of room, and as soon as my hand touched her seat, the cushion felt a little bit moist.
Needless to say, I ran to the bathroom right after them and scrubbed my hands clean until they were red……LOL!!!